Yesterday, I was thinking about bringing home our little brother or sister… and it occured to me that there were a few things I needed to buy. I realized the DVD player for the car no longer worked (and yes…this is MAJOR) and I didn’t have a high chair (not as major in our family…ha ha ha). I went to Target and got a great deal on a dual screen DVD player that fits nicely on the back of the car headrests. The best part was that the DVD fits behind the screen, so there’s nothing in the floor to be stepped on a million times. This will be our 4th DVD player in 6 years. Hopefully, this one will last a while! I’m still looking for a high chair. I found several on Craigslist that might work, but I just wasn’t quite ready to buy one yet.

I’ve caught myself driving home at night checking on “both” kids in the back seat. I look at Kaylie and then I look in the the other seat as if someone is already there. Sounds a little creepy…but it actually makes me smile.  I can just almost touch those fat little baby toes I keep imagining in the extra car seat we’ll have before too long!

I’m so excited! Our homestudy is finished, and we’re so close to being able to bring home a brother or sister soon! We’ll be going into the “matching” phase shortly. For more updates, join me on Facebook!

So, I’ve been working with this private adoption agency because the thought of bringing home a newborn was just so inviting and exciting. However, things weren’t going as smoothly as I wanted. The agency is wonderful and after going through about 200 of them I was very comfortable with the one I chose (www.lifetimeadoption.com). However, the $18,000 price tag was a pretty heavy load. Nevertheless, I was determined to make it work and I started thinking of all the ways I could raise the money.  I had kind of gotten away from my original plan which was to adopt through DHS. I started thinking that I really wanted a baby and not an older child, and the idea of bringing home a child from 1 to 2 years old just seemed like I would be missing out on that baby stage.

However, God has a funny way of getting you back on track! Yesterday I was asked to keep a 16 month old little boy overnight… whom I’d only seen twice. Of course, I couldn’t wait and we had a blast! I realized just how little a one year old still is. I began to change my mind and see that once again I had been trying to lead my own life instead of following God’s plan. I knew that I couldn’t afford to pay $18,000 for an adoption AND add on to my house in the future. I could see that adopting through DHS was not only the right decision financially, but also what I feel like God’s is asking me to do.

So, I’m back to work with the state again! The good thing is that I’m just almost done with everything and should be approved before too long. I only have to send in my paperwork that’s already finished, and have them do the homestudy. Then I’ll be ready and waiting!

Ok, so coming up with girl names has always been my specialty. Boy names…not so much. Since I’ve opened up to the idea of adoption either a boy or a girl, I wanted to have some boy names handy just in case! I’ve narrowed it down to either Nash or Evan. I really love the name Nash - especially since it reminds me of Nashville. But Evan is such a strong name and I like that, too.

Here was my list before I narrowed it down to these two. I’m told I pick really odd names for boys and I should let someone else name him. HA HA!

Nash
Evan
August
Isaiah
Cash
Israel
Ryder
River
Jude
Perry
Micah
Everett

No, it’s not what you think…I’m not changing my mind about adopting! I’m just opening up the idea a little more.  I spoke with a lady about adoptions and she asked me why I only wanted to adopt a little girl. I told her it was simply because I felt more qualified since I was a single mom. She asked if I wanted to have a little boy someday, and I said “of course!”. I don’t think my time on earth would be complete without having a little boy, too. She told me that I might consider opening my eyes to either gender just to see more options. The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. I still think I’m more qualified and ready for a little girl - but who am I to pick who my next child will be? I think I’m going to take a hop in the back seat of this ride and let God bring me the child HE wants me to have. 

So, now we’re open to just about all adoptions. I think I’m actually even more excited not knowing! I think God will lead me to the right child, and I need to quit making so many personal assumptions on what is best for me. Sometimes I forget that this world isn’t all about me and what I want… it’s about what He wants for me. Let the journey continue!

Since this is really my first post about finding Libbie, I’ll start by filling you in. After looking at adoption.com for about 3 or 4 years, I decided to get more serious about it and actually get on the waiting list to adopt. Kaylie really wants a little sister, and I think God has something in mind. I’m beginning to think there is a reason I’m not married again and I don’t have any more kids of my own yet.  The more I dive into this adoption process, the more I realize that this just feels right.

First of all, I hate paper work, politics, and legal drama…. so you can imagine how much I love this process of going through the state to find Libbie. We discovered that going through the Department of Human Services was our best option because there are a lot of kids that really need good homes. Knowing how easily I fall in love with children, this just seemed like the best option for us. I’ve since been interrogated, fingerprinted, taught, lead, and persuaded to stay in this program. Of course, staying in the program isn’t a hard decision  for me. It feels right, and I’m going to go with it! We’re not in any hurry, we have no time frames, and we’re just waiting for God to bring Libbie to us.  Fostering wasn’t an option for me because I just get too attached too quickly, so we decided to do adoption only. We’re currently requesting a little girl under 2 years old, and as young as possible.

So why the name, Libbie? Well, several reasons. First of all, Randall called me by that name one night (jokingly) and said that I should be P. Nutt’s manager, just like Lib Hatcher was to Randy Travis. Something about the way he said it made me smile, and I realized I really liked that name a lot.  I decided then that if I ever had another daughter, I’d name her Libbie. Her middle name will be Jane, but that’s a special secret to me that I might share someday. I really liked the country sounding ring to “Libbie Jane” and it went with my other girls names, too. In fact, I was going to spell it “Libby”, but Kaylie and Rannie said her name should end in “ie” just like theirs. I had to agree with them. Then I looked up the meaning to both names and it sealed the deal for me.  Libby means “God’s Promise” and Jane means “God is Gracious”. I couldn’t agree more with the names, and I just decided that was the name for our next little girl, whether I had one of my own or whether I adopted.

So, I began the journey of all the paperwork that goes into being an adoptive home. I had to enroll in Saturday classes from 9am to 4pm for 6 weeks. I just finished my last one today, but I have two half days that I missed and will have to make up in another area. I’m waiting on those to be a little closer to home.  Right now the closest ones are over 2 hours away. I’ve answered every question imaginable, checked a million boxes, signed a hundred papers, and agreed to everything that could go wrong…. and I’m still excited! I know that somewhere Libbie is out there and waiting for us. I told a friend of mine it’s been as much fun as being pregnant. Knowing that our little girl is already out there and not knowing who she is - it’s just a really exciting experience.

Yes, I’ve been called crazy. I’ve been asked why a single mother with 2 girls would want to voluntarily ask for another one. I’ve been asked why I don’t just have one of my own. I’ve been asked if I can’t have any more. The truth is, I CAN have more kids… I CAN get married someday… and I CAN handle one more little girl in this house. I love my girls with all of my heart, and I can’t wait to have another one. It just wasn’t in God’s plan for me to have one of my own right now. No matter how hard I try, it just doesn’t work out and it seems it just isn’t part of my current plan. The last thing I want is to marry someone just to find out it wasn’t the right person after I’ve already had another baby. But, I also decided that just because I’m not ready to get married doesn’t mean I have to give up on giving Kaylie a little sister right now. I realized that maybe something bigger was in store for us. I realized that all this time I’ve been ready for this and just didn’t know it.

I remembered when I was little how I always watched the side of the road just in case someone dropped off a baby. Sounds funny to me now, but I always wanted a little sister and I just knew that if someone ever dropped a baby off somewhere where I found it, surely my mom would let us keep it. Even as I got older, I still had that somewhere in the back of my mind, that if I was ever around someone who got pregnant by accident, I would be the one to jump in and take care of the baby.  I’ve had dreams my whole life that I’m walking around carrying a baby and everyone thinks it’s my child… and only I know I didn’t really give birth to the child.  I started seeing that maybe this was part of the plan all along. Maybe I just never had an open mind enough to really get it.  Whatever the case may be, the time seems right and I’m so excited! I feel like there are one or two more children in my future, whether I adopt one and have one of my own, or whether I adopt two children. I just know that right now, we’re waiting for Libbie and we know she’ll come to us when the time is right.

Kaylie is just beside herself waiting for Libbie to arrive! I like to say she’s waiting “impatiently”.  ha ha. She’s so ready to be a big sister and she’s great with children. She’s so patient and loving, and her sense of humor is so funny to me. She gets tickled at little kids the way I do, and I know she’s going to be a wonderful big sister.

So, now that you’re caught up, we’ll keep you informed on our search for our next little girl, and we’ll post pictures as soon as we’re legally able to do so!